"Now, people who imagine me as the 60s media partygoer who traditionally arrived at parties within as minimum six-person 'retinue' may wonder how I dare to call myself a "loner", so let me explain how I really mean that and why it's true.

At times in my life when I was feeling the most gregarious and looking for bosom friendships, I couldn't find any takers, so that exactly when I was alone was when I felt the most like not being alone. The moemnt I decided I'd rather be alone and not have anyone telling me their problems, everybody I'd never even seen before in my life started running after me to tell me things I'd just decided I didn't think it was a good idea to hear about.

As soon as I became a loner in my mind, that's when I got what you might call a "following"."



This got me interested. The Philosophy of Andy Warhol (From A to B and Back again) got interesting from page 23 on.

Something I've realised over the years is that I prefer reading material that are more.. realistic, should I say? I loved reading autobiographies since young and stories about love and fantasy didn't interest me much.

I love reading books with thoughts/ideas I can relate to. You can't relate to fantasy so I guess this should be a better explanation.


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(I typed this before I concluded it's because I like things I can relate to)

I always ask myself why I'm such a realistic person because I always had the impression that people who feel for things more than others do prefer fiction to fact. Liking facts make me feel like I'm not fit for things like drawing or writing. I never really understood this.

Also, isn't the escaping from reality the reason why I always procrastinate? Like if I didn't want to go for an exam I'd just sit there till the time passed so nothing could be done anymore. Is that being realistic at all? No.

The most troubling fact is that there's so much I know about myself, or you could say I'm very conscious of myself. I catch myself doing things quickly and try to track down the reason why I'm doing it. There's so much I "know" and alot of them are conflicting and in the end there's even more about myself I don't know.